Thursday, September 28, 2006

When a Gift becomes a Burden

I have alluded to family issues in other posts.  The specifics, as far as I want to divulge them, are that a close elderly family member has had two serious health events and is in a nursing home.  I am part of the “team” that has to help make decisions as well as help with sorting out the financial issues.  I am in this position both in the emotional sense and in the legal sense.


I am not likely to inherit any money in this situation; nor am I looking for that to happen.  I am mentioning this only because it occurs to me that people in my situation could have conflicts of interests. 


Just in case you are not aware of the price of things these days, I’ll tell you that it costs about $6000/month to stay in a nursing home.  Living in Assisted Living is about 33 – 50% of that cost. 


So….. as a family member, I have to help weigh the costs, the health care needs, the social needs, and some intangibles regarding moving our loved one.  We have to make some decisions within a month.  And when the money is gone, then the government pays for the costs of taking care of the patient.  I am feeling overwhelmed.


In this case, the patient had the foresight to give the house to a family member some years ago.  This means that the family is not forced to sell the house to pay for the nursing home costs.  While this sounds good, it actually is a burden because the current owner has no money to pay for any of the ongoing expenses. 


As in all parts of life, there is no way to know the future, no certainty of how things will turn out.  This uncertainty is playing into the anxiety I feel about this.  I keep reminding myself that there is not certainty apart from my salvation.  When I feel burdened, I get a backache as if I’m wearing a yoke. 


I need to pray harder.




1 comment:

  1. Ah, dear sister, how I can relate.

    I'm praying for you and yours.


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