Thursday, April 23, 2009

Wedding invitations

When my daughter got married several years ago, a lot of thought went into who would be invited. It was a challenge because of space and money limitations, based on the budget that the couple set for themselves. There is always the question of who will be invited and if anybody in the same category will be upset if they don't receive an invitation.

My son is now going through this process. He heard that a certain couple is upset that they didn't receive an invitation. They were supposed to be on the list, and there is still time to correct the oversight. More people are being invited to this wedding because the couple were fortunate to have a much less expensive plan for their reception than usual. The bride has a large family; the groom has lots of friends.

My philosophy has been that the wedding couple should make their decisions about who to invite based on their own friendships. I wouldn't expect a child of mine to invite an adult friend of mine if my child didn't also have an emotional tie to that person.

Yesterday, I received a wedding invitation. This one really floored me. I don't know the groom. I know that bride as an almost-classmate of one of my kids, but she is someone I may have only talked to in passing, and certainly not in the last 5 years, because I haven't seen her in years. I've probably talked to the mother of the bride about 5 times quite awhile ago. We live a few miles apart, but our paths don't cross, mainly because I'm very active in my church, but the bride and her family no longer attend church, or at least not at my church.

I just wonder how I got on the list to be invited. I've been invited to weddings (or wedding showers) before when I've known one of the family members, but didn't know the couple. In those cases, I've attended the wedding if is close and convenient.

I just wonder if people just don't know where to stop when they are sending invitations to weddings. Or are they fishing for gifts? Or am I just being a scrooge about this? If I hadn't received the invitation, I'm not even in any gossip circle that would get the word to me that this young woman is getting married.

1 comment:

  1. Invitations to anything are always a problem.
    LOng ago in My first parish most wedding receptions were in the church fellowship hall. There was no drinking. The church ladies catered. It didn't cost much and so lots of people were invited.
    I miss those days.


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