Friday, October 24, 2008

Lab Test Rant or How I know God isn't a Woman ...

Yesterday I went to the local hospital/clinic to get the lab work done, after having my annual checkup earlier in the week. I was supposed to be "fasting" before the blood draw, and I was compliant. But that also meant that I was "unsuccessful" when I went into the next "room" to have the urine test.

I drank the coffee I had brought with me and ate a PB sandwich as I went to a class I attend regularly. Unfortunately, part of my routine is to use the restroom after this class, which meant I was back to zero. But I quickly drank a can of soda (or pop, if you are from here.)

Back to the hospital I went. There were other people waiting, so that would be a help to me. I was given another cup, so back into the little room I went.

The directions say to catch the urine in mid-stream. Well, women don't get a stream. They get a spray. And that d___ cup is too small. I peed. I brought the cup up to where I could see it. One drop. Try again. Yeah right. My friend was in the blood-draw chair in the next room and I could hear her talking to the lab tech about how her friend was "in there, trying to pee in the cup."

I was there for quite awhile before being barely successful. I finally told the lab tech that "I wasn't pissed." She had to check to see if I made the required minimal amount.

A MAN wrote those directions about “Mid-stream.”

A MAN designed the little cup that doesn’t catch a woman’s spray of urine.

The lab techs are complicit in this, because they are women and they should be more sympathetic.

I’ve always known that God is not a woman, because HE didn’t make it easy for a woman to pee in the woods, but I never before thought about the fact, that

1 comment:

  1. Nothing is ever easy. When I'm asked for a urine sample I just can't get it. Something in me locks up and no matter how hard I try I fail.


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