Cold Is Not an Issue in MINNESOTA

60 above zero:
Floridians turn on the heat.
People in MINNESOTA plant gardens.

50 above zero:
Californians shiver uncontrollably.
People in DULUTH sunbathe.

40 above zero:
Italian & English cars won't start.
People in MINNESOTA drive with the windows down.

32 above zero:
Distilled water freezes.
The water in LEECH LAKE gets thicker.

20 above zero:
Floridians wear coats, thermal underwear, gloves and wool hats.
People in MINNESOTA throw on a flannel shirt.

15 above zero:
New York landlords finally turn up the heat.
People in MINNESOTA have the last cookout before it gets cold.

Zero:
People in Miami all die.
People in MINNESOTA close the windows.

10 below zero:
Californians fly away to Mexico
People in MINNESOTA get out their winter coats.

25 below zero:
Hollywood disintegrates.
The Girl Scouts in MINNESOTA are selling cookies door to door.

40 below zero:
Washington DC runs out of hot air.
People in MINNESOTA let the dogs sleep indoors.

100 below zero:
Santa Claus abandons the North Pole.
MINNESOTANS get upset because they can't start the Mini-Van.

460 below zero:
ALL atomic motion stops (absolute zero on the Kelvin scale.)
People in MINNESOTA start saying..."Cold 'nuff fer ya?"

500 below zero:
Hell freezes over.
MINNESOTA public schools will open 2 hours late.

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