Thursday, February 15, 2007

Cold Is Not an Issue in MINNESOTA

60 above zero:
Floridians turn on the heat.
People in MINNESOTA plant gardens.

50 above zero:
Californians shiver uncontrollably.
People in DULUTH sunbathe.

40 above zero:
Italian & English cars won't start.
People in MINNESOTA drive with the windows down.

32 above zero:
Distilled water freezes.
The water in LEECH LAKE gets thicker.

20 above zero:
Floridians wear coats, thermal underwear, gloves and wool hats.
People in MINNESOTA throw on a flannel shirt.

15 above zero:
New York landlords finally turn up the heat.
People in MINNESOTA have the last cookout before it gets cold.

People in Miami all die.
People in MINNESOTA close the windows.

10 below zero:
Californians fly away to Mexico
People in MINNESOTA get out their winter coats.

25 below zero:
Hollywood disintegrates.
The Girl Scouts in MINNESOTA are selling cookies door to door.

40 below zero:
Washington DC runs out of hot air.
People in MINNESOTA let the dogs sleep indoors.

100 below zero:
Santa Claus abandons the North Pole.
MINNESOTANS get upset because they can't start the Mini-Van.

460 below zero:
ALL atomic motion stops (absolute zero on the Kelvin scale.)
People in MINNESOTA start saying..."Cold 'nuff fer ya?"

500 below zero:
Hell freezes over.
MINNESOTA public schools will open 2 hours late.

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