Tuesday, July 08, 2008

Worried Sick

Sunday evening I went to bed with a headache. And I couldn't sleep. I could just feel the worry chemicals going through my body. I was worried about my son. He had gone out fishing in our canoe with a friend, and I was worried about their safety. They are both good kids, actually, young adults, in their early 20's. But I was worried because I thought that maybe they would be in a macho mood and not take good safety measures into consideration.

My husband wasn't entirely without worry, but as he was about to doze off he said, "Well, there's nothing we can do about it anyway." That is the truth about most worries: We are wasting time and energy worrying because our worrying doesn't ever affect the outcome of a situation.

But there I was, awake and uncomfortable. I found myself so stressed that I couldn't even pray for the Peace that Passes Understanding. And I needed that peace.

Son came in about 2:00 am. I don't know how long he was on the lake and how many fish were thrown back or cleaned afterwards. After that I slept. For awhile.

We could hear a noise outside which sounded like someone trying to blow their nose without a tissue. This noise repeated itself many times. Soon my son came into the bedroom, "MOM, what is that noise?" "Its a deer snorting." "Oh."

In the morning we found that he had been so worried about the noise, wondering if it was a burglar, that he had locked all the doors. Worry is a funny and irrational thing, isn't it?

Monday I woke up sick. It would be easy to blame this on the worry, but I have the same symptoms, including extreme tiredness, that my husband had a week ago, so I guess it is a flu that takes about 8 days to incubate. Yesterday I spent many hours sleeping, and I still slept through the night. Today should be a better day, although I still feel like I need a nap.

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